Shattered
by FrozenPurity
Summary: I felt like I was shattering. Shattering from the inside out. Stop this. Please make it stop. I was alone again. Alone. I'm alone. Kaname...I'm scared...I'm scared...Silver. And lilac. Mahogany. And burgundy.
1. Chapter 1

It's dark.

And it's cold.

Where am I?

_Who _am I?

What's that sound?

What is _sound?_

I...I don't know.

There's that...that _sound _again.

It's not a normal sound.

It's like a...a _voice..._

Whose voice is it?

Ah.

A light.

A _white _light.

Noise.

_Beep...Beep...Beep..._

I see shapes...

_Beep...Beep...Beep..._

People?

_Beep...Beep...Beep..._

They all look so...worried...

_Beep...Beep...Beep..._

What's that sound? It's not a voice...it's...a machine?

_Beep...Beep...Beep..._

Faces.

_Beep...Beep...Beep..._

I don't know them. _Any of them..._

_Beep...Beep...Beep..._

Silver. And lilac.

_Beep...Beep...Beep..._

Mahogany. And burgundy.

_Beep...Beep...Beep..._

Who _are _they?

Hm?

The noise...it's stopped...

The _voice _again...

"Yuki? Are you awake?" It was soft...and...Maybe _familiar..._

What is Yuki?

Is...Is that me?

Yes. I'm Yuki...

Yuki Cross...

"Yuki! God damn it! Wake up!" This voice was rough.

I could almost place where I knew it from.

My eyes opened.

A little.

I wish they hadn't.

Three pairs of eyes all stared at me.

Lilac. Burgundy. And wheat gold.

Silver. Mahogany. And blonde.

"Yuki? Do you know who we are?" Wheat asked. He seemed concerned.

Why?

What was wrong with me?

I didn't know what to say.

I didn't know how to use my voice.

I had one.

I knew the words.

But how to form them?

"Ah...Ugh...N...No..." My own voice was not as smooth as any of the others.

It was strained.

And sounded like it had no idea what it was.

"Oh dear..." Wheat seemed saddened by this information.

"W...Wh...What...What's wr...Wrong?" I asked...not sure what else to say to comfort this man...

"Oh...Nothing...nothing my adorable little Yuki..." Wheat smiled and I felt a twinge of familiarity.

Silver seemed shocked.

His lilac eyes were wide and unseeing.

Mahogany had moved closer.

His burgundy eyes spilt ever-lasting affection.

It frightened me a little.

Who _were _they?

I strained to somehow remember.

Because I felt I should.

I should know them.

I really should.

I frowned.

I realised I had been lying back and I forced my body to support itself.

I guess this is what they call 'sitting'

I could remember that now.

My action seemed to shock them.

"Yuki, you shouldn't be moving around right now." Mahogany told me.

Then I realised they needed _names._

I used my voice again.

"Wh...Who are...y...you?" I was getting better at it. "Wha...What are...y...your names?"

They glanced at each other quickly.

Wheat spoke first.

"Well...My name is Kaien Cross. And I'm your adoptive father Yuki." It was odd.

Earlier he had been so cheery.

He had changed to serious so fast.

Silver spoke next.

"I'm Zero. Ugh. Zero Kiryuu." He had also changed from being loud and angry.

To quiet and uncomfortable.

Mahogany was next.

"My name is Kaname Kuran." He spoke slowly and smoothly.

His tone was so kind.

What was I to him?

I had to admit he was beautiful.

But so was Silv- I mean Zero.

In a different way.

It made my cheeks burn.

A blush?

That's the word.

Blush.

"Wh...Where am I?" I asked; surprised at how smooth my voice was now.

"Ah. Well little cute Yuki! You're in a hospital. Hos-pit-al." Wheat Kaien told me.

His voice sounded mocking and it annoyed me.

"I kn...Know what th...that is." I said. My own voice surprised me.

It was rough and unpleasant.

Rude?

Yeah. Rude.

"Aha! So you're already on the rocky road to recovery!" He cried, sounding overly happy with himself.

My face twisted.

I think I was scowling at him.

He looked very put out when he spotted my face.

"I guess Yuki's getting better. She's able to upset you!" Zero grumbled a little.

I could tell he was smiling about it though.

It warmed me a little, to know that I had entertained him.

I realised that I was missing out a vital question.

"Why am I in H...Hosp...Hospital?" I was pleased that my voice was improving so much.

They glanced at each other again.

Almost as if they were thinking about how much to tell me.

Kaname nodded smoothly to Kaien, his mahogany hair moving in the most mesmerising way.

I looked away before anyone noticed I had been staring.

Zero just groaned and moved to sit down.

"This is gonna take a while..." I heard him mutter.

Kaname shot a glare towards him.

Zero pretended not to notice.

Kaien looked me straight in the eye and said...

"Yuki...How much do you remember about vampires?"


	2. Chapter 2

Silence.

What had he said?

That question...

What should I say?

I...I think I do remember something.

A little bit of what he asked about...

But, it's not pleasant.

I don't really _want _to remember that.

The snow.

It was red.

Red like...

No.

I won't say it.

I won't let myself say that word.

Or think it.

Or even...

Just no.

They're looking at me again.

Expectant.

As if everything else they were planning to tell me is dependent on this one answer.

I look at Kaien, probably because he looks the most normal.

The other two were two intense.

"I do...remember...a lot." I told him.

I chose my words carefully.

I didn't want him to instantly jump to conclusions that I knew why this was so important.

I couldn't remember exactly how significant this..._myth _was in my life.

I guessed at very, otherwise he wouldn't have asked.

I shuffled a little on the bed.

Kaien looked delighted.

"Oh! My innocent daughter is still able to fight for my dream of pacifism! I shall praise the day she came to me! What a brilliant, amazing, cute daughter I have!" He exclaimed.

I simply blinked.

I seemed un-phased by his definitely abnormal behaviour.

As if I'd seen it before.

I guessed I had.

He did say I was his daughter after all.

I snuck a glance at Zero.

He had his eyes closed and looked bored.

Kaname looked calm and serene.

He leant casually against the wall, next to where Zero was sitting.

He almost caught me looking at him.

But I looked away in time.

"Alright Yuki. Do you wanna come back with us? Or stay for a bit?" Zero was looking right at me.

His eyes were so intense, it made me blush.

I seemed to blush a lot.

"Oh...Um...Well, hospitals give me the creeps, so, I'd prefer to go back home." I told him, and then added quietly, "Wherever that is..."

"Oh! Brilliant! Fantastic! My little daughter already wants to spend quality time remembering her father!" Kaien was beginning to bug me.

But I paid him no mind.

Kaname looked straight at me then.

"Are you sure? You haven't yet regained your memories. It could be, odd for you to return now." He spoke softly; I couldn't help but lap up every word.

I nodded vigorously.

"I'm sure! Really sure! I _want _to leave!" I exclaimed, trying my very best not to falter.

Kaname smiled at me.

It was a small smile.

But it still made my stomach churn.

"Ugh. Typical Yuki. Acting as if nothing has happened." Zero spoke up next and I glared at him.

He only pouted and looked away.

My stomach churned again.

Kaien came very close to me then, his index finger raised as if he were a teacher making a very important point.

"Make sure of one thing Yuki!" He said, his voice was serious, but playful.

I nodded, and became serious myself.

"Don't let Kiryuu drink your blood again!"

My heart stopped.

What?

Drink my blood?

Zero?

Why?

Why would I do that?

Zero...me...blood?

Blood.

My...blood?

Wait!

Zero's...a vampire?

I could remember.

He wasn't always a vampire...

But Kaname...Kaname was a...

Pureblood vampire...

Blood.

Me?

Oh...Oh no...


	3. Chapter 3

The thoughts were coming back to me.

I could remember little things about them.

About Kaname and Zero.

But, I couldn't remember my relationship with them.

Nothing at all.

It was odd.

The way they looked at me with such familiarity.

But I was still trying to remember their faces.

The thing that Kaien had said about Zero...

I'm sort of glad that I don't remember.

The car ride back to the school was awkward.

No one talked.

Except Kaien.

Who doesn't _stop _talking.

No one really listened.

I just tuned it out.

I glanced over at Zero every now and then.

He just kept sending daggers at the passing trees through the window.

The atmosphere around him was icy.

I wondered if I was _really _good friends with him.

He didn't seem to be someone who had close friends.

So I doubted it.

Kaname was different.

But he also had a feeling of coldness and aloneness about him.

He seemed very lonely.

His eyes held a lot of pain and sadness.

I could see it.

I wondered then if he'd ever told me about it.

But I would feel rude if I asked him about it.

He caught me looking at him.

He smiled at me.

Just a small upturning of the edge of his lips.

It was hardly worthy of the word smile.

But it was heartbreakingly beautiful.

My eyes wondered back to Zero.

I had a shock.

He had turned his icy stare at me.

He sighed then and closed his eyes.

When he reopened them, his expression was much gentler.

"Geez Yuki. You don't ever listen to the saying 'staring is rude' do you?" He asked me. His tone was light and riddled with amusement.

I blushed and looked away.

To be honest, he too was heartbreakingly beautiful when his expression was that soft.

Just like Kaname.

I...wanted to remember them.

Because I wanted to spend so much more time with them.

I thought maybe if I remembered, then it would compensate for this need.

I remembered the school building.

I could find my way to every room.

Every part of the grounds.

The kitchens.

The headmaster's private rooms.

Everywhere.

I could remember what my duty as prefect was.

I...

But I couldn't remember any of the _people._

It was devastating.

I was given a day on my own.

They thought that that could help me to regain my lost memories.

But all that it's done has made me more confused.

Angrier.

Lonelier.

I didn't feel secure in myself.

Because I didn't remember what kind of person I was.

So when Zero came to my room to check if I was alright.

It made my heart swell and when I opened the door to let him in, I ended up throwing myself into his arms.

I also think I was crying.

I cried for a little bit.

Until I heard his breathing.

It was ragged.

I backed up a little so I could see his face.

His eyes were red.

Bright red.

And glowing.

The bloody rose tattoo on his neck was glowing too.

But his eyes had a different kind of shine.

They had the kind of shine that could strike fear into the hearts of even the bravest man.

"Zero? Are you...alright?" I asked.

My voice was so small.

His hands were suddenly on my shoulders.

His breathing was harsh on the soft skin of my neck.

"Yuki...I...I'm sorry..."

My hand clutched his back, pulling at the material of his shirt.

My eyes closed of their own accord.

Then I felt the sharp fangs.

And it all became real.

But oddly...I didn't feel scared.

Not at all.

Deeper.

The pain became almost unbearable.

But there was a sick pleasure to it.

I suddenly realised something.

He wasn't stopping.

My hand tightened on his shirt and I pulled him closer.

"Ze...ro...?"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Thank you so much to everyone who has put this story into their alerts and/or favourites. Also, even more thanks to those who have bothered to review.**

**It makes me feel all warm inside.**

**So, thank you again. I hope you enjoy this story, but, to be honest, I have no idea where it's going ^^**

"Ze...ro...?"

My heart was beating so fast and my breath was coming in short, erratic gasps.

"Zero!" I tried again.

Hoping that somehow, he'd hear me.

Somehow I could break through the hunger that was blinding and deafening him.

I hadn't been scared.

But it was starting to creep up on me.

My heart was beginning to flutter softly like a birds wings.

I was fading, and I could feel it.

The sound of my own blood leaving my body was filling my ears.

Everything seemed insignificant now.

Maybe I was going to die.

But, it was an interesting way to die.

The dark fog was starting to cloud around the edges of my vision.

So, that's what dying feels like.

It's cold.

Like ice, yet there's a warmth and comfort to it.

It wraps itself around you slowly, until you relax into it and then it sweeps you away.

But I wasn't about to give in.

I still had so much I wanted to learn.

"_Zero!"_ I yelled it now and tore away from his iron grip.

His eyes slowly became lilac again.

The safe colour.

The colour I had first seen them.

Instead of looking slightly kind and worried like I remembered seeing them first time,

They were now sad and held an emotion I'd never wanted to see him hold.

Hate.

But I knew instantly it wasn't directed at me.

He hated himself.

So, so much.

I backed away a little and swayed on my feet.

He rushed over and caught me before I fell.

"Ze...ro...It's...alright..." I managed to tell him, before nausea overcame my head.

"Just...put me...on...the bed..." I whispered.

I had to shut my eyes to stop the pain.

I felt the contact of bed sheets and a mattress under me.

But I could not bear to open my eyes just yet.

The bed moved near my feet and I knew that he had sat down.

"Yuki...Yuki I'm so sorry..." I hear him mutter.

"No...Zero...I would've stopped...you..." I replied, trying to make my voice sound convincing.

It didn't sound too good to me.

I opened my eyes slightly to look at him.

His head was in his hands.

I noted his clothes, which were covered in my blood.

If Kaname saw this...

Zero looked at me again.

I could tell he was trying to force his expression to stay calm.

It might've worked on Kaien, but I could see through it straight away.

I forced myself up so I was sitting.

Ever so slowly, I reached a hand out to his face.

Carefully, I placed my hand on one of his cheeks and kept it there.

I had expected him to push away such a gesture.

But to my surprise, he leaned into the touch and placed his own hand over mine.

"Yuki..." I heard him murmur my name.

"It's alright Zero...It really is..." My voice was a little stronger now.

The nausea was coming back.

But I couldn't show him, I didn't want him to despise himself anymore than he already did.

"I'm the one who should be sorry...I didn't stop you, even though the headmaster had asked me to..." I looked away, shame creating colour on my cheeks.

"Thank you." He murmured.

I frowned, not sure what he meant.

Before I could ask, he stood up.

"I have to leave Yuki. Before Kuran gets here. He probably smelt the blood." Zero's tone had changed.

I know he was forcing himself to sound casual.

But it made me happy anyway.

I nodded and lay back on my bed, grateful for the time to rest.

When I heard my door close I sighed and fell into a strange sleep.

Between consciousness and awareness.

Half way through the night, I had a dream.

Maybe it wasn't a dream, but I can't be sure.

I didn't open my eyes.

But I remember feeling the cold, smooth hand caress my cheek and a voice whisper in my ear.

"No matter who you choose Yuki, I will always love you."


	5. Chapter 5

It was odd.

Getting in at the early hours of the morning and sleeping about two hours.

Only to get back up again and go to class.

But to be honest, I quite enjoyed patrolling.

Because it was time alone.

To think about things.

Well, two things.

Not really things..._people..._

I would sometimes bump into Zero when I was patrolling.

But that was rare.

But when it happened, it was always a good moment.

"Hi Zero!" I would chirp and wave happily at him.

A grunt of acknowledgment was usually all I got.

But sometimes...just sometimes...he'd smile at me.

And say "Hey Yuki." And that would be it.

But I would always love it.

Even rarer would be for me to bump into Kaname on my way between buildings.

He would usually see me first.

"Good evening Yuki..." I would hear his soft voice wash over me like beautiful music.

I would turn around and see him there, with a tiny smile on his face.

But even though he was smiling, he wouldn't really look happy.

He'd look so lonely.

Like usual.

"Oh! Hi Kaname!" I would reply and smile at him.

That would always make his smile spread just a little wider.

"Keep up the good work Yuki." He would tell me.

I would nod.

"Sure! Just helping out as much as I can really!"

"But please, don't work yourself too hard." Then he'd leave.

He'd usually be with the vice-president Ichijou.

But on the rare occasion that it was just him, before he'd leave, he'd run his long, slender fingers through my hair and stroke my cheek.

"It's always lovely to see you...Yuki." His quiet voice would reach me as he walked away.

And I would fidget a little, before going in the other direction.

Each time I heard their voices...

Zero's and Kaname's...

I would try to see which fitted the voice in my 'dream'.

But I was never sure.

I didn't mention it to anyone.

Not even Yori, who sat next to me in all my classes.

I was apparently failing all of them, due to lack of sleep and work.

I just couldn't bring myself to concentrate on things like that.

Why had I been in hospital anyway?

I was a little confused about that.

When I asked Kaien he would just sigh and mutter...

"Why would my darling Yuki want to know about such troublesome things as that? You should be concentrating on the way of the pacifist!"

It was times like that that I would get annoyed at his childish side.

Many questions still remained but Zero never wanted to answer them.

He was too busy sleeping in class or patrolling to listen to me.

I bet that Kaname would probably tell me.

But I never really saw him.

And when I did, he was in a rush so he couldn't talk to me.

I couldn't help but think they were hiding it from me on purpose.

That was when I started to get angry.

And confused.

Why would they hide it?

What was so bad about this 'accident'?

I then started to think that maybe it wasn't just an accident.

What had happened?

But to tell you the truth, I didn't _really _want to know.

I wanted to know about my dream more.

I wanted to learn about Zero and Kaname.

Why was Zero so hostile towards Kaname?

And why did Kaien always say such hurtful things to Zero?

Couldn't he see how much it hurt Zero?

I remembered that Zero despised himself.

So when Kaien would say things, I would watch Zero's reaction wordlessly.

Wishing I could comfort him.

But I never knew _how._

Ah.

I forgot.

I had a dream.

About the time Zero met Kaname.

He had looked so angry.

His eyes were filled with a soundless rage.

Kaname had left.

Saying that it was best.

I had tried to comfort Zero then, but he had batted me away.

"_Don't you dare touch me with that hand that you used to touch _him._" _He had snapped at me.

I realised after I woke up.

That I really didn't understand Zero.

But I wanted to.

_So much._


	6. Chapter 6

A night.

Just one night.

But now that I remember it, I wished I hadn't been on my own.

I had a realisation that night, when I was patrolling the silent gardens.

I realised, much to my dismay, that I was alone.

So alone.

In this world.

Zero belonged.

To his side.

The hunters.

Kaname belonged.

Without a doubt.

To his side.

Everyone belonged.

But me...

I was alone.

I...was torn in the middle.

I was weak and no good to anyone.

To my surprise, this realisation calmed me a little.

To know my place.

Even if it was small and useless.

This was it.

I didn't care anymore.

If I was to be alone.

I wished to know why.

Why was I so distant and alone?

Why?

So I was going to make them answer my questions.

I didn't care if they wanted to or not.

I'd _make _them.

It wasn't hard to get Kaname, Zero and Kaien all together in one place.

Every now and then, they'd all meet in Kaien's office to discuss things.

Things I was never allowed to know.

Not this time.

I stood, waiting, just outside Kaien's office.

They'd notice that I was there sooner or later.

They'd have to ask me to come in.

Then...

I'd know.

I didn't have to wait long.

"Yuki. Come in." I heard Kaname's gentle voice call to me, and I instantly entered the room.

When Kaname saw my expression, which was one of sheer determination, he frowned.

"Yuki? What's wrong?" He stood up and tried to look me in the eye.

It took all my strength to walk right past him and up to the desk.

I slammed my hands down on the wood.

Releasing my anger and confusion that had built up so badly the last few nights.

"Tell me!" I demanded.

Kaien didn't say anything.

I was happy about that.

His expression stayed serious and he glanced over to Kaname, and then Zero.

"Tell me what happened!" I said again. "I _need _to know!"

"Sit down Yuki." Kaname told me and his tone instantly relaxed me.

I sat down in his chair.

Thankful for the support it gave me.

Kaien closed his eyes and sighed.

"I knew it would come to this." He muttered and when he reopened his eyes, the intensity shocked me.

"Do you remember anything Yuki? Anything at all?" He asked me.

His tone was quiet, but it held absolute sincerity.

I swallowed.

"No. I don't. That's what's making this so hard." I told him.

I tried to hold my voice together.

I was proud that it didn't break.

He sighed again.

"Maybe _I_ should explain."

It was Zero.

I glanced over to him.

His voice sounded strange.

I hadn't heard him speak like that before.

An awkward silence fell over the four of us.

"Yes?" I asked.

Trying to break the silence that was threatening to break _me_.

"Well...Ugh...We went out. To...well to town really. You asked to go to the park, because you hadn't been there for so long..." Zero trailed off, recalling the event in his mind.

"It had started to get dark by the time we got there. You insisted it was alright. We'd only be there for a few minutes..." Zero continued.

A sense of dread began to rush over me.

It started in my stomach and spread slowly into my heart and through my limbs and he told me how he'd forgotten something at a shop.

I'd told him that I'd stay at the park.

It'd be fine.

Everything was always fine.

"I was only gone a few minutes." He was rushing now.

"But I had a feeling something was wrong...I began to run, I almost fell a few times..."

I...I could remember.

There had been snow.

Just a little.

Then...

"Then Yuki...I knew something was wrong..."

I glanced up at him.

"What? How?"

I had to hear this.

This was the important part.

"And then...

"That was when I heard you scream..."


	7. Chapter 7

"I didn't know it was within your nature to _lie, _Kiryuu." Kaname's voice cut in sharply through my memory.

I frowned.

"What? A lie?" I felt confused.

Why would Zero lie to me?

"Perhaps you should tell her the truth Zero; before I tell her myself." Kaien told Zero sharply.

I glanced at Zero then; his head was lowered so I couldn't see his face.

"Everything I said so far is true." He murmured. "I'll...I'll make sure not to lie about this next part."

I tried to read his voice.

To understand what he meant.

But I couldn't.

He continued again.

"I heard you scream Yuki. And...and..." He trailed off...as if he was unable to continue.

"Yes? Go on..." I prodded, trying to encourage him to carry on.

He glanced up at me, his expression unreadable.

"...and then I smelt your blood." He muttered quietly, before lowering his head again.

He paused just a little.

I was about to tell him to keep going before I heard him take in a breath.

"It made me crazy." His voice was so small now, that it was hard to hear. "I...rushed towards where the smell was coming from..."

_Oh...Oh my..._

I was finally going to know.

Finally going to know what was tearing at me from the inside for so long.

"I saw...a level...a level E. He was going to kill you...and...that thought made me even crazier. I...didn't really want...To be honest...at the time...the thought of you dying wasn't what made me mad..." I could hear self hatred become laced into his words.

He carried on.

Quicker now.

Spurred on by his sickening hate for himself.

"It wasn't you dying. It was the thought of someone...someone _else _having your blood. _That's _what made me crazy..."

I could feel my stomach churning inside.

Knotting itself worryingly.

I didn't like where this story was going.

I really didn't.

Part of me wanted him to stop.

I didn't want to know.

But the other part, the louder part, screamed to know.

"I tore that level E to pieces. You...you stared at me which such horrified eyes. But it...it _pleased _me to see you quaking like that..." He spat out his words now.

He sounded utterly defeated.

Defeated by himself.

"I...I remember laughing at you. I laughed at your fear. I could smell it. It egged me on. Made me crazier." Zero's words started to sink in and the daunting feeling of fear started to spread.

Cold.

Like ice.

Spreading slowly but certainly through me, getting into my bones and every part of me.

I couldn't get it away.

And that's what scared me the most.

The fact that I couldn't save myself from it.

"I...attacked you-"

"Stop." I said.

My voice was small and broken.

"Please...I don't want to hear anymore. I understand. I...don't hate you or anything..."

I looked at him then.

I knew he wouldn't believe me.

I knew I had no way to stop him from hating himself.

But I had to try.

I _needed _to try.

There was no way...I would leave him alone with this.

He'd been alone for far too long...

He glanced up at me a little.

I caught his eye before he could look away.

His eyes looked so hurt.

"Yuki." His voice brought me back. "I'm sorry..."

My eyes widened slightly.

"No! Zero! Please! I'm alright aren't I? Please...It's alright. I swear." I tried to show him how sincere I was.

I don't think he heard it.

"Now my darling daughter! Now that you know...we can all be buddies again!" Kaien suddenly piped up.

I heard a sigh from Zero and he stood up.

"Well...I'm going on patrol." He walked away as I stood up.

Kaien bounced up behind me.

"He'll be fine!" I glanced at him.

I wasn't so sure.

I looked at Kaname then.

He seemed more distant than usual.

I wondered what was wrong with him.

He smiled slightly at me.

It seemed more forced than usual.

"Yuki. I'll take my leave now." His voice seemed a little sad. "I hope I'll see you again soon."

He paused by the door and looked back at me.

He seemed to be thinking something over.

He left then.

I didn't know what to say.

Or what to do.

I sat down slowly.

I lifted my hands up to my face and withdrew them with surprise.

Water?

I was...crying?

**A/N. I'm not sure what pairing I should do...people should vote. I'm open for anything. Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed so far.**

**It keeps me going.**


	8. Chapter 8

**This story is now a Yuki x Kaname story. Prepare for the bombardment of fluff...**

**;) Oh and thank you to everyone who reviewed.**

**I might put a smidge of Zero x Yuki. **

**So yeah...**

**Now that it's a Kaname x Yuki story, Yuki will be a pureblood vampire and all that.**

**It would've been different if it were Zero...**

It was night.

The cross-over had been rougher than usual.

But that didn't bother me.

Nothing seemed to be getting to me.

I felt blank.

Almost...

Like I wasn't there.

Distant.

Ever since I heard about Zero...and the...

Attack.

I was aware he was avoiding me.

But I could feel his eyes on me every now and then.

In the classroom.

Sometimes when I was on patrol.

I knew that he wouldn't believe me when I said I forgave him.

I understood that.

But I'll give him time.

It's all I really _can _give him.

I know I need to talk to him.

But I can't really bring myself to approach him.

When he sees me coming...

He just...conveniently disappears.

I suppose he'll eventually understand.

I hope so anyway.

I can only hope.

"Yuki?"

A voice.

It broke me from my thoughts.

I thought it could be Zero.

I was very badly wrong.

"Yuki? Are you alright?"

I glanced up from my seat on the side of the fountain.

"Ka...Kaname?" I ask.

My voice is shaking.

I don't understand why.

I'm not upset.

I'm...not...

Really...

"Yuki? You look upset. Is everything alright?" His voice washed over me.

Instantly making me feel calm.

And warm.

I shake my head slowly.

"I'm fine. Thank you. I just...I was thinking..."

"About Kiryuu?" He finished my sentence for me.

I nodded sheepishly.

Suddenly, and without warning, he had pulled me into his arms.

My head rested on his chest.

I could hear his heartbeat.

Gentle. Soothing. Constant.

Exactly like him.

"Yuki. You shouldn't think of things that upset you." He murmured into the top of my hair.

His hand slowly stroked my head.

"I never want you to be upset."

I shut my eyes.

I breathe in his scent, his warmth, and the overwhelming happiness I felt with him so close.

We stayed like that for a few moments.

I was unsure of how long it was.

The time was blurred.

Blurred by my strange happiness I felt.

I never wanted him to let go.

"K...Kaname...I..." I began to speak but he hushed me.

"Please...Yuki...Just...let us stay like this. Just for a moment."

His arms tightened slightly.

Pulling me closer.

I noticed a slight thrumming along my back.

It's raining.

I noted this only slightly.

The information went straight to the back of my mind.

The only thing that mattered was him.

His arms.

His heart.

I could hear him breathing.

It sounded almost harsh.

"Kaname?" I asked softly.

Careful not to break the moment.

I concentrated on his breathing.

Focusing so that I would hear whatever he was going to say next.

"Yuki..."

I felt mesmerised by the way he said something so simple.

It was only my name.

But it was so much more.

His voice shook with emotion.

I felt the slightest sensation of added moisture on the top of my head.

Was he crying?

"Yuki...I..." He whispered.

His tone was strained.

"I don't want you to see me like this but..." He trailed off.

I felt concern swamp me and I instantly raised me arms to embrace him.

I pulled him closer, silently stroking his hair.

"Kaname. It's alright...I promise..."

I felt his breathing calm and he uttered only a few words.

"Thank you. Thank you so much...Yuki..."

I felt him sigh.

I burrowed my head further into his chest.

Listening intently to his heartbeat.

He was really there.

Alive.

Warm.

And incredibly beautiful.


	9. Chapter 9

I'm dreaming.

I'm sure.

I have to be.

This can't be real.

None of this.

Not this overwhelming warmth.

Not this happiness.

Not this...love...

Not the way he says my name.

Not the way...

None of it.

His arms are _too _warm.

His voice is _too _soft.

Everything.

If this _is_ a dream.

I never want to wake up.

The way he wraps his arms around me.

I feel like a treasure that must never be broken.

I feel like the most special person...

I feel...beautiful...

"Kaname..." I murmur.

He tightens his hold around me.

"Shhh...Yuki..." He strokes my hair.

I smile.

I'm in bliss.

Everything is perfect.

"I've dreamt of you Yuki..." I hear his say.

"What do you dream?" I manage to ask through my haze of happiness.

"I dream of holding you like this. Forever."

My heart speeds up.

Now I know this isn't real.

"Why do you dream of me?" I whisper.

I didn't expect an answer.

He pulls away slightly.

So I can look at his eyes.

They are full of emotion.

Loneliness.

Sadness.

But now...they hold something else...

Affection?

"I thought that would be obvious by now." He says.

He smiles.

A tiny smile.

As usual.

But this time...it speaks of happiness.

Of eternity.

Of blissful eternity.

"Yuki...I..." He stops.

"Yes? Kaname? Please..."

_Please don't let this be a dream..._

He keeps staring at me.

I feel lost.

Lost in a sea of burgundy.

Those eyes promise so many things.

Things that I know he's capable of giving me.

Of giving anyone.

He pulls me close again.

Not giving me my answer.

"Yuki...I've missed you...So much..."

I frown into his chest.

"What do you mean? I haven't gone anywh-"

"No Yuki." He interrupts.

I don't mind.

"I've missed holding you like this. I miss it all." He murmurs.

I snake my fingers into his soft, mahogany hair.

"I've missed those smiles that were only meant for me. I've missed your laughter. The way you'd run to me calling my name..."

I feel him sigh.

I suddenly feel his lips on the top of my head.

"I miss kissing your hair and whispering secret promises to you Yuki..."

I stroke his hair.

"I've missed it too..." I murmur.

My eyes widen.

What?

I don't...

I don't even remember.

But...I feel I do.

"Yuki...You don't need to lie for me..."

"I...I'm not!" I tell him.

He relaxes against me.

I feel his arms withdrawing.

I try to cling to him.

Try to cling to his warmth.

"Yuki." He says.

Again, I melt into his eyes.

"I must go."

A strange coldness spreads through me that I know isn't that rain.

I hang my head.

His fingers brush my chin and he raises my head so I meet his eyes.

I watch him as he slowly takes off his coat.

"Here Yuki..." He whispers as he places the coat on my shoulders.

It's still warm.

And it smells of him.

I hug it closer.

I look at him as he stands up straight.

He smiles at me again.

I can't help but smile back.

He turns and begins to walk away.

My eyes follow him.

I hope that by watching him, I will trap his heat with me.

He pauses and turns his head to look at me.

"And remember Yuki..."

"Yes?"

He smiles again.

"I'll always love you..."

**Short...but fluffy.**

**I have to thank VampireMaddy for reviewing after 2seconds of me submitting the last chapter ^^**

**It was...nice. The next chapter will be longer...**


	10. Chapter 10

I had watched him walk away.

Watched him with such a daze of happiness, that I forgot everything for a few seconds.

Until I heard a voice.

"You love him. Don't you."

The tone left no room for argument.

I turned to see him.

To see Zero.

"Zero...I..." I tried to speak to him.

But he held his hand up to stop me.

"No. There's nothing you need to say." He muttered.

He glanced away, but not before I saw the look in his eyes.

"Zero? What's wrong?" I asked, reaching out to him.

He stepped swiftly away from me.

"Nothing. Stop it." He said harshly.

I knew it wasn't blood lust.

I'd seen that before.

This was something different.

I frowned.

"Zero...I'm sorry...that I haven't talked to you in so lon-"

"It's not you!" He snapped at me.

I felt my eyes widen at his anger.

"Then...wh-...what is it?"

I looked at him.

I searched his face, trying to understand.

"It's...it's...nothing..."

He looked away again.

No.

I wasn't going to let him go.

"No Zero. It isn't nothing." I made my tone harsh.

So he would hear the sincerity.

"I care about you. So tell me. Because it's important. _You're _important."

He looked at me.

I swear he looked shocked.

Just for a second, but I saw it.

Then he smoothed his features over.

"It's...it's _him!_" He told me, spitting out the last word.

"He thinks he can just have everything he wants! He just...He thinks he can just pick you out from a crowd and you have to be his forever." He shook his head.

"He thinks he doesn't have to work for anything. That everything just drops into place."

I frowned and sighed at him.

Sometimes Zero got things so...so..._wrong..._

"Zero...that's not-"

"_Stop it." _

I stopped straight away.

His voice was quiet.

But the force he used to say the words, made me halt my actions straight way.

"_Stop_ defending him. You're just as bad..." He murmured. "I feel like I've completely lost you Yuki..."

Lost me?

Didn't I just say I cared for him?

I felt anger begin to boil within me.

I shook my head violently.

I stood up slowly and looked him in the eye.

Hoping that he wouldn't look away.

"Zero...you haven't lost me. Maybe you just keep pushing me away..."

I turned away.

I really didn't want to stay there with Zero anymore.

The whole thing was strangling my happiness.

And I loved my happiness.

I left him there.

I...didn't want to leave him there.

But...

I needed him to understand that he was so _wrong. _

Just so wrong.

I pulled Kaname's coat tighter around me.

It was time to end my patrol anyway.

I rushed to my room.

Trying to get away from the tortured atmosphere I had left with Zero.

I sat down on my bed.

I sighed and let my head drop into my hands.

I felt moisture.

But this time...I wasn't crying.

I knew I wasn't.

I pulled my hands away from my face.

What?

What...is that?

This...dark...liquid...

Red...

It dripped from my fingers and onto the floor.

It ran down my arms and stained Kaname's coat.

I stared, wide eyed.

Bl- Blood?

Why was there...Blood here?

I looked around me, trying to find the source of the liquid.

I wasn't hurt so where...

As I looked around, I noticed, to my horror, that the blood was everywhere.

_Everywhere._

I moved further onto my bed, trying to move away from the liquid that was spreading from an unknown source.

Why?

Why is it...?

What's happening?

My head felt like it was splitting in two.

Although I didn't want the blood in my hair, I clutched my head.

_Agony._

I felt like I was breaking inside.

I'm...coming undone.

I'm...scared.

I'm frightened.

_Kaname...please...save me..._

I begged silently in my mind for it to stop.

For it to stop and for someone to save me.

Where is it coming from?

Why is it here?

What can I do?

_Please...let it stop..._

I don't understand.

I glanced up at the room.

As I looked around the blood stained room, I saw something in the once empty corner.

A small child.

A little girl.

She looked around five years old.

She was huddled in on herself.

I could hear her murmuring something.

"_Please...help me...I'm scared...the scary vampires are going to eat me..."_

I watched as she raised her head to look at me.

"_You! You're one of them!" _She stared at me in horror.

And then she screamed and I felt like I was shattering.

Shattering from the inside out.

_Stop this._

_Please make it stop._

The noise stopped.

But it didn't help.

I was alone again.

_Alone._

_I'm alone._

_Kaname..._

_I'm scared..._

_I'm scared..._


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N. Zero isn't in this chapter...it's a little different than the actual episode/chapter. So yeah...**

**T____T ^^**

**------------------------**

_Please..._

_Oh please make it stop..._

I was chanting it in my head.

As if that would help me at all.

I had tried so many things.

Nothing was working.

All I could do was hope.

Hope that Kaname would come and save me.

_Save me..._

I was calling out to him.

Searching for him.

Willing him to come to me.

I had huddled inside his coat, hoping his smell would comfort me.

Not even that helped.

Was I so lost in this wilderness, that even Kaname couldn't save me?

No.

No that's not true.

Kaname is everlasting.

He...saved me before.

He'll...he'll do it again.

Won't he?

"_I'll always love you..." _

I buried my head into his coat, trying to imagine he was here.

But of course, like everything else, it failed.

The smell of the blood flooded my senses.

It was all around me.

Choking me.

Corroding me.

I could feel something in my core breaking.

It's not real Yuki...It's not real...

_It's not real..._

There was a fluttering sound and I glanced up.

The curtains were flying around, barely managing to stay attached to the wall.

Someone had opened the window.

I felt new tears add to the ones I had been shedding.

Is it...is it him?

I watched as he stepped into the room, stepping elegantly onto the blood-stained floor.

"Yuki?" He asked; the overwhelming kindness in his voice made the tears even more real.

"Kaname..." I murmured as I tried to discern whether he was real.

I had seen so many fake Kaname's in this room.

I couldn't trust my senses anymore.

He stepped towards me; instinctively I crawled back a little on the bed.

I was afraid he'd turn into a horrible creature like all the other Kaname's.

"Yuki...it's alright...I'm here now..." He whispered to me and he reached over to me.

He pulled me sharply into his arms.

The warmth enveloped me.

It really _was _him.

No vision could ever create the happiness I felt in his arms.

"Kaname...I'm...I'm scared..." I cried into his chest.

I was letting the tears fall now.

I didn't care that they were ruining his beautiful dress shirt.

I didn't care.

All I cared about was that he was here.

He was with me.

Really with me.

"Yuki..." I felt him tighten his grip.

"I'm sorry..."

Sorry...?

What for?

Before I could ask him, I felt his hand on my head.

Darkness invaded my vision.

"Ka...name..."

I felt my body slump into his arms.

He pulled me close and placed a kiss on my forehead.

When he removed his lips, the skin felt strangely cold.

He turned and stepped out of my window.

I wondered where we were going.

But I couldn't even move to ask him.

I didn't really want to ask him.

I wanted to lie in his arms for eternity.

Blissful eternity.

I felt my drowsiness lifting and slowly opened my eyes.

I didn't recognise where I was.

But it didn't matter.

It felt high up.

Wherever it was.

I opened my eyes wider and saw, to my disbelief, that it was snowing.

Snow.

Everywhere.

I reached out a weak arm and tried to catch the snow.

I smiled briefly before letting my arm fall back to my side.

"Kaname..." I forced my head to look at him.

He looked sad.

Sadder than usual.

"Kaname?" I asked and raised my hand to touch his cheek.

"Are you alright Yuki?"

I smiled at him.

The smile was small and weak, but I saw the sadness lift from his eyes slightly.

"I was...I was only...I thought I should remember you. Who you were to me...but...but then..."

"Shhh..." He silenced me by placing a smooth finger on my lips.

"I'm sorry Yuki...but I must...to stop your pain..."

I didn't understand what he was saying.

But I let him do whatever he was doing.

He used his hand, which was on the back of my head, to lean me back.

I felt his soft, slightly warm breath on my neck and closed my eyes.

I smiled.

But the smile dropped when I felt a dull pain in my neck.

I had felt this pain before.

But...that was with Zero...that was safe...

But...Kaname...

He wasn't the same as Zero...

_Worlds _different.

He was a _pureblood..._

So...that...that meant...

"Ka...name..."

I tried to speak to him, to ask him what he was doing.

I scrambled a little in shock.

I wasn't prepared for this...

But it didn't mean I didn't _want _it.

I felt his hand cover my mouth to stop me.

I was surprised.

But I wasn't offended.

I knew he didn't mean it badly.

He just...

He knew what he was doing...

I knew he did.

I felt my body becoming weaker and weaker.

I was so weak, that I could barely feel the rest of my body.

I heard a voice.

_His _voice.

Although it sounded distant and quiet.

I could hear the anguish and fear in it all too well.

"Please...Yuki...Only you..."

Only...

Only me?

Suddenly...A warm liquid entered my mouth, accompanied by warm lips touching my own.

The liquid was...

Delicious?

No...that wasn't the right word...

But whatever it was...

It was...

I couldn't describe it.

I swallowed.

Then it hit me.

It wasn't just any liquid.

This was...Kaname's blood?

I felt strength coursing through me.

An odd strength.

It felt alien to me.

It promised me untold power.

I writhed inside from the strange feeling, but didn't withdraw from it.

I reopened my eyes.

Then I widened them with alarm.

The face before me...it was so familiar.

I _knew _this face.

Better than I ever thought.

"Yuki...Are you awakened? Do you know who I am?" I heard his voice.

It made me smile.

I _knew _this voice.

"Kaname..."

He smiled at me and closed his eyes as I softly caressed his face.

"My brother..."

**Slightly longer chapter.**

**I've had a few people comment on the length of my chapters. But I like them the length they are. It's just kind of how I write.**

**So yeah...**

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed...alerted...favourited...and all that jazz ^^**


	12. Chapter 12

I awoke in a room.

A soft light was filtering in through a window to my right.

This wasn't my room.

But that was fine.

I wasn't exactly _me _anymore.

I raised my hands and studied them.

Smooth and perfect.

They reminded me of _his _hands.

I glanced around.

The room was large and ornate.

There was a desk, a divan, and papers were flung over both.

I frowned and attempted to sit up.

A strange feeling overtook me and I slumped back onto the bed.

It felt like cramp, but more painful.

A headache was coming too.

I could feel it.

I shut my eyes to fend off the onslaught of pain.

I heard the door open and slowly opened my eyes to see who it was.

I smiled.

It was him.

"Kaname!" I called to him and winced.

The pain was building up.

When he approached me, I could feel another sensation adding to the pain.

As I studied him, I could hear the blood in him.

Smell it.

I felt as though I could see it.

I could almost taste it.

God I wanted to taste it.

He was coming closer.

He sat beside me on the grand bed.

I caught his scent and the pain doubled.

I scrunched up under the covers.

"It's alright Yuki. I know...I know what you want..."

I felt a reassuring hand stroking my hair and I saw the trust in his eyes.

Before I even registered what I was doing, I had flipped him onto the bed and I was kneeling over him.

I leant forward; a strange, new hunger enveloped me.

The promise of that red, warm, beautiful heaven made me bring my mouth to his neck.

His arms came up around me.

He held me closer, and bent his neck at an angle where I could get a better reach.

I ran the tip of my neck over the smooth, creamy skin and felt him shudder under me.

His hand moved to rest on the back of my head.

"Yuki..." He whispered. "Do it...Please..."

It felt wrong to me, this need.

This overpowering want building within me.

The want to bite, to drink, to devour.

I couldn't stand the pain any longer.

I was doing this to stop the pain, that's all.

Well, that's what I tried to tell myself.

I could feel a light throbbing in my teeth.

I knew what this was.

I opened my mouth and felt myself push the fangs deep into Kaname's neck.

I clamped my eyes shut tight.

I heard him hiss slightly in pain.

I didn't want to cause him pain.

But I'd already hurt him so much hadn't I?

I felt so many emotions rush me at once.

I knew that some of them were not my own.

But I knew I couldn't hold back these tears.

I'd wanted to cry for the longest time.

I cried earlier I suppose.

When I was afraid and alone.

But I wanted to cry about _everything._

Like now.

The release of emotions was comforting, even if Kaname told me not to cry.

It was strange.

When he spoke, it felt like I had spoken.

I felt one with him.

As if we were only one person.

The boundaries between me and him felt broken.

I felt like we were melted into each other.

I pulled away when the overwhelming pain stopped.

Even though I didn't want to.

When I sat up, I stared at him for the longest time.

I studied the shapes of his face.

The shapes of each individual feature.

"Yuki? Are you alright? Why are you looking at me like that?"

He sat up beside me, the worry in his eyes made me smile.

I placed my hands on either side of his face.

"I'm making sure I remember every little thing about you." I told him.

I told him it bluntly.

It was the truth.

And only the truth.

"I _never _want to lose you again..." I murmured quietly.

I never wanted to lose his smile...

His eyes...

This warmth...

I brought my arms around his neck and pulled us closer together.

Before he realised what I was doing, I kissed him.

Just like that.

I felt him sigh against me.

His arms wrapped around me.

Warmth spread through my body.

This was perfection...

I could never want anything more than I want him.

I want him...I want _this... _Forever.

Eternally.

_Eternal Bliss..._

----------------

**Right...**

**I want to leave the story there...complete it there...**

**But...that's only because I'm losing my original want to carry on and I don't have a plot. It has no story. So...unless someone can give me a plot...this is finished.**

**Also...I **_**really **_**want to go write a Kaname x Zero story...-_-**

**Thank you for reading ^^**


	13. Chapter 13

I was nervous.

More nervous than I should've been about something like this...

But...I was afraid of what they'd think.

They?

The night class.

My new classmates.

And...

My new followers.

I've always felt so below them...and now...to be announced to them as if I were a queen...

It's a little daunting.

As I made my way through the ornate corridors of the moon dorms, my heart rate multiplied.

Kaname had been leading me by my hand, but now he turned to me, his eyes spilling warmth and I instantly calmed down.

He pulled me briefly into his arms.

"It'll all be perfect...I promise." He murmured into my ear and withdrew from me.

I swallowed the fear and nodded, smiling warmly at him.

He retook my hand and once again, we began walking.

The sounds of their voices got louder and louder as we approached.

The butterflies were attacking me from the inside.

But all I had to do was glance at Kaname's reassuring smile and everything was fine.

Even if these people didn't accept me, he still would.

Wait...

What if...what if he was disappointed?

What if...when they failed to accept me, he'd feel ashamed and push me away.

My hand tightened on his as the thoughts began to escalate.

What if...

What if this happiness ends?

"Yuki..." His soft voice cut through my momentary reverie.

"Remember what I told you..."

I frowned.

"What did you tell me?"

His lips lifted slightly more than usual, amusement shone in his eyes.

He leant forward and I felt his lips against my ear.

A blush made its way across my cheeks.

"I'll _always _love you."

He pulled away and I wanted to growl at the loss of warmth, but resisted.

Kaname pulled me finally to the top of the long staircase that led down to the entrance of the moon dorms.

All the speaking hushed.

I felt so many eyes on me at once.

I stared solemnly at my shoes.

I felt Kaname squeeze my hand softly in reassurance and I raised my head to look at the night class.

What I saw shocked me more than if they held hatred in their eyes.

What I saw was...

Acceptance.

"Everyone...this is Yuki." I heard Kaname's soft voice and the tense atmosphere lifted considerably.

"From now, she will be staying with us here."

I saw everyone nod.

A strange cold fear began to take me over.

This...acceptance...what if...what if Kaname had already told them all to accept me?

Why else would their cold and aloof demeanour that I knew so well be suddenly gone?

What if they were all forcing this for Kaname's sake?

I looked at Kaname then, my eyes questioning.

He only smiled at me and led me down the stairs to meet them all.

My fear was eating me and I could tell that I wasn't doing a very good at hiding it.

"Yuki! I'm so glad you're here!" I heard a voice to my right and turned to face them.

It was Takuma.

I forced a smile.

I hoped he wouldn't notice how fake it was.

He seemed satisfied though and beamed back at me.

"I'm very glad to be here too..." I told him.

It took a while, but I was soon finished greeting everyone.

It was odd, because I couldn't feel any lies in their words and their smiles.

All the same, the fear stayed there.

It was soon mixed with confusion.

I was confused as to why I was thinking like this.

Perhaps...perhaps this is the natural paranoia of being a pureblood.

I glanced at Kaname as he talked to Takuma quietly.

Perhaps this fear and confusion as to who to trust were why Kaname seemed so guarded all the time.

I shook it off.

I wouldn't allow my stupid, ungrounded suspicions to ruin this new acceptance.

I watched as Takuma nodded silently to Kaname.

Kaname glanced quickly over to me, his eyes held something there.

A hidden feeling that I couldn't decipher.

It was gone so fast that I wasn't even sure if it was really there.

The paranoia escalated quickly.

Was Kaname planning something?

If so, then what was it?

I noticed him walking towards me.

"Yuki...May I speak with you in our room?"

_Our _room?

I brushed it off.

I didn't mind it.

I followed him swiftly up the staircase.

And into our room.

I had hardly entered the room before I was enveloped in his arms.

His lips were at my ear again.

"I'm sorry my love...I know that we've only been together for such a short time..."

My heart rate instantly rose.

What was wrong?

Was he really pushing me away?

Was he?

"But I..."

I felt him kiss my ear tentatively...

"But I have to leave you..."


	14. Chapter 14

It was lonely.

The room seemed so dark without him in it.

Without his quiet smiles.

Without his eyes that spilt affection, but still seemed so lonely.

I hugged the quilt to me.

I shied away from the invisible cold that seemed to swirl around me.

He'd only been gone a few hours.

He'd left just as the sun was rising.

Now...the sun was setting, dying the sky a crimson red.

It made my heart thud with fear.

He didn't tell me how long he'd be gone.

He only told me that he was going to the council.

To...'sort out a few things'.

I knew that he was trying to make sure I would be safe.

But I felt so afraid without him.

I felt as if I would never be safe without him.

I heard the softest of knocks on my door.

"Yuki? It's me Takuma..." I heard Takuma's voice drift quietly from where he was stood behind the door.

"If you'd like to come to class today, now is the time to start getting ready..."

I knew he was being quiet in fear that I was sleeping and he would wake me.

But I hadn't managed to sleep.

Not at all.

The cold paranoia kept creeping up on me.

As if there was someone in the room...watching me.

I wondered how Kaname dealt with it...if he ever felt the same.

I softly stood up and padded silently to the door.

"Takuma..." I murmured, knowing he would hear me.

"Yes Yuki?" He sounded genuinely concerned, and that helped my paranoia to subside a little.

"Will...will Kaname be alright?" I asked, clinging onto the handle of the door, careful not to mutilate it with accidental strength.

I heard his soft chuckle from behind the door.

"Yes, Yuki. Kaname will be fine. He always is."

I sighed with relief and felt my worry shift dramatically away.

"So, Yuki, will you be joining us in class today?"

Will I?

They'd be suspicious if I didn't turn up...

And I have to go...if for Kaname's sake...and not mine...

"Yes, I will. Thank you Takuma."

I heard him sigh.

In relief?

In disappointment?

"I'm glad! I'll call for you again when it's time for class changeover."

I heard his footsteps fading along the corridor and I instantly rushed back to the bed.

I sat there.

Only for a minute.

I buried my head into my knees and held myself close.

I shivered slightly and decided that I needed a shower.

I slowly walked over to the ensuite and instantly froze.

I hadn't seen my reflection since...since...

I stared openly at myself.

At my long hair.

At the richness of my eyes.

I felt my fingers go up to caress my lips, to make sure that the reflection was really me.

I frowned and shook my head.

It didn't matter.

I was glad.

I was happy that I was beautiful now.

Because it would be enough for Kaname.

I showered quickly and put on my new uniform.

It was identical to my old one, just with the opposite colours.

Kaname had brought me it before he left.

I was glad that he had moved all my old things into our room.

He even got a spare wardrobe just for me.

I snuck back into the bathroom, just to take a glimpse at myself once again.

The change was phenomenal.

That...that couldn't be me.

I swore that my lips were less full.

My hair less thick.

The colour..._blander._

But as I stared at myself now, nothing about me was bland.

Nothing.

Everything was as a pureblood should be.

Beautiful...and...strangely perfect.

I smiled serenely at myself then.

I was glad.

Because now, me and Kaname were perfect together.

We matched.

I was no longer the normal, hopeful human girl that I thought I had been.

I was perfect and graceful, just like him.

An odd sense of pride washed over me and I straightened up.

I walked out of the bathroom with a walk that I liked to imagine demanded authority.

I felt in control for once.

And it made me feel happy.

I heard Takuma call me and I instantly exited the room.

The cold paranoia was no longer there.

I felt safe.

No one would _dare _harm me.

No one would even dare _think _to harm me.

I strode confidently to the gate and stood before it, the other night class students surrounding me.

I smiled to myself at the wonder of it all.

The gates opened in front of me and my smile dropped.

How could I forget...?

How could I have forgotten about...about _him?_

About...about...

_Zero..._


	15. Chapter 15

Zero.

The realisation that I had so completely forgotten him washed over me.

I felt guilty.

Horrible.

I felt like there was something writhing inside my belly, trying to get out.

He looked at me with such unfriendly eyes, but there was something there...

Something I couldn't quite pinpoint.

I realised quickly that he wasn't shocked.

That shocked _me._

Another realisation.

Kaname had told him.

Probably when I was sleeping.

Kaname had told Zero what he'd done for me.

I heard some of the day class girls muttering to each other.

"Hey...isn't that Yuki Cross?" One murmured, all too loudly for me.

She thought she was being quiet.

"Yeah...but there's something different about her..."

Another added.

"I agree...that special something that everyone in the night class has..."

I felt Takuma behind me.

"Yuki? It's time to go now..."

I wanted to take his eager encouragement and move forward without even a thought.

But I couldn't.

I just stood there.

Frozen.

Staring at Zero.

Zero had turned his back to me, making sure the day class girls stayed back.

Now that I wasn't looking at his eyes, everything was easier.

I took a step forward, and the rest of the night class took the que.

Hanabusa began his daily flirting.

I tuned him out and concentrated on not giving away from unease.

My eyes kept flicking back to Zero's angry face.

I wondered what exactly Kaname had told Zero.

I knew Zero wouldn't have ever accepted this change...

Kaname must've said something...something...

_Powerful._

I felt an odd sense of dismay and sadness wash over me when I realised Zero would probably never want anything to do with me again.

I lowered my gaze and continued to the school building with the rest of the class.

All the while my mind was focused on what Zero was thinking...

And where Kaname was...

________

Meanwhile... [Third person]

He was tired of walking.

Odd, really, that _he, _Kaname Kuran, could feel tired.

He knew it wasn't from physical strain.

Rather, it was because of something else.

Something much worst.

He had felt it the moment Yuki had awoken.

He felt torn.

Torn between his happiness that she seemed happy...

And the guilt that he had yet again brought this burden upon her.

He knew...

He knew it wasn't fair.

Not many things for them had ever been fair.

Fair.

What is fair?

He had never wanted Yuki..._His _Yuki...

To have to live like he did.

To have to suffer eternal sorrow and loneliness like he did.

No...

He knew he wouldn't.

He knew he would do all he could to make her happy.

Even if it cost him his own happiness.

He shook his head.

That wouldn't matter.

He was always happy when he knew she was happy.

He knew...

He would make sure she was happy.

He would rather die than see her crumble away from the pressure and constant danger of being what they both were.

He sighed unhappily and quickened his pace.

He was worried about her.

Even now...

When he knew that everyone at the academy was loyal to him.

Even Takuma, who once would've stood by his grandfather and betrayed Kaname, even he, was trusted.

There was something gnawing away at his mind.

He felt as if he had overlooked something.

But he _knew _he hadn't.

And yet...the sense of unease didn't fade as he made his way towards the home of Asato Ichijou.

Ichiou, as most called him.

Kaname was not afraid.

He wasn't even nervous.

But the sense of dread was bound to be a disadvantage.

As the grand building came into view, he calmed himself.

He forced all his conflicting thoughts into the back of his mind.

Where he would deal with them later.

Kaname pulled his coat tighter around himself as the wind blew harsher.

He had to be ready.

He would only get one chance to do this.

If he failed, and he had no doubt that he wouldn't, but if he did fail, then it would all be over.

He stopped at the gates to the building, and watched as guards rushed towards him.

So Ichiou had expected this.

Kaname smiled a little, just the slightest upturning of his lips.

He kept walked, and each guard that even got near him vanished in a cloud of sparkles.

He entered the building.

And with one last fond thought to Yuki...

He let himself go...

And destroyed them all...


	16. Chapter 16

Worried.

I was desperately worried.

As we all went back to the moon dorms, I couldn't help but feel nervous.

I knew it had only been a short while...

But Kaname hadn't returned.

I was so used to him.

Used to him being constant.

Even if it was only for a few moments each day...

But he was always there.

I could rely on that...

Now, without him...I felt a coldness I hadn't felt for so long...

I sighed.

Thinking about it wasn't making it any better.

But...sitting here...

In mine and Kaname's room...

I really feel out of place...

When I'm alone.

I can imagine that none of this is real.

That I'm still just the old me.

I could be here because I fainted or something...and Kaname carried me here...

There are so many reasons I can think up.

I lay back on the bed.

I hadn't realised before just how soft the bedclothes were.

I bring them around me and breathe them in.

Even though they're new...

And have probably been washed about _five _times before being put on this bed...

They smell like him.

Only faintly...

But it's enough.

I pull them tighter around me and bury my face deep into the softness.

There is nothing else that could smell this good.

Nothing this comforting.

Darkness soon took me over.

I fell into a restful and dreamless sleep.

-----

I woke shortly afterwards.

I could tell because the light hadn't changed much.

But there is one thing that's different.

I can feel strong, gentle arms around me.

Holding me.

"Ka...name?" I murmur, hoping that if this is a dream, my voice won't shatter it.

I feel his arms tighten protectively.

"I'm sorry if I woke you..."

I smile and burrow into his chest.

Then I stop.

His voice.

He sounded..._different._

I pulled away sharply and looked at him carefully.

He looked strained.

Guarded.

And once again...

Lonely.

I place my hands on both sides of his face.

"What's wrong? What happened?" I ask.

My voice sounds frail and weak.

I'm worried.

Very worried.

But he doesn't reply.

He simply takes my hands into his own and smiles at me.

But this time I can see that it's forced.

He shakes his head and pulls me back into his arms.

"Did something happen?" I mumble into his chest.

"No. Everything's fine." I hear him say.

"What did you do to the council?" I ask.

Surely, he wouldn't have killed them.

I know Kaname.

He's gentle and kind.

He wouldn't harm anything...

Surely...

"Nothing. I spoke with them. Everything's...everything's fine..." He pulled me in tighter when he got to the last word.

Although I couldn't detect a single lie.

Although I knew he wouldn't lie to me.

I could hear the defeat in his voice.

But I also knew that because of the sound of that defeat, I shouldn't press for more details.

Instead, I move my ear to where I can hear his heart beating.

I close my eyes.

I know now...

This is no dream.

And that makes me happier than words could ever describe.

"Yuki..."

I twist my head awkwardly to look at him.

"We're leaving the school."

My eyes widen with shock.

"What? Why?"

Wait...

I would be leaving...

Zero behind...

I couldn't...

"But Zero..." I mumble and trail off, not sure how to voice what I meant.

I wasn't sure if I really saw it, but I thought I saw Kaname's eyes look even lonelier.

"We need to leave Yuki. Because you've just awoken, we need you in a good environment."

I held his eyes for a moment before looking down.

"The night class will be coming with us."

So many emotions began to swirl around inside me.

Each one vying for my attention.

I shoved them away hastily, afraid that my confliction would show on my face.

I looked back at Kaname.

"I'll go." I say, not sure whether or not I was happy with my decision.

I could see his smile widen the tiniest bit.

But it was tainted with something else.

Worry?

Disappointment?

Fear?

I had no time to think about it before he slowly laid me back down onto the bed.

He began to stroke my hair softly.

The motion began to make me feel drowsy.

Before I knew it, I could feel my eyelids drooping.

But before I fell asleep, I heard Kaname's voice close by.

And I felt his lips against my ear.

"Remember...my precious Yuki...I'll always love you..."


	17. Chapter 17

Beautiful.

It really was beautiful.

The house I was never supposed to remember.

I stood there.

Outside.

As the snow fell heavily onto my hair.

I gazed at it.

Soaking in its memories.

Its happiness.

And its tragedy.

Perhaps...if things were different...I'd never have been able to look upon this house again.

That is why I stared.

Kaname ordered the others in the night class to enter the building.

He stayed out there with me.

He allowed himself to become cold.

So he could watch over me.

I was grateful for that.

I was grateful, that when silent tears made their way down my cheeks...that he was there.

As he wrapped his arms around me, there was no coldness anymore.

Only warmth.

I clung to that as we stood there.

I began to shiver.

"We can go in now. Kaname." I murmur.

We walk silently towards the house.

As we draw closer, I feel more nervous.

What would it be like?

To enter this house?

The home of my past?

As if he could read my thoughts, I feel Kaname's hand that is holding mine tighten.

I glance at him and his eyes are full of unspoken reassurance.

I smile softly.

I know.

I know that everything will be alright if he is there.

As the large, ornate doors open, I hold my breath.

As if everything would crumble apart around me as soon as I stepped inside.

Kaname went first, gently pulling me along behind him.

As I stepped from the cold, wet ice, onto the polished wooden floors...

I feel a weight I hadn't noticed before lift from my shoulders and I release my breath.

I glance around me.

Taking in the beautiful walls, decor and atmosphere.

The condition of the house was pristine, and I wondered why there was no dust.

The night class students had already vacated the main entrance hall of the mansion.

I guessed Kaname had told them where their rooms were.

I glanced at him then, noticing that I hadn't been paying attention to him.

He was stood by the stairs.

A light smile played on his lips.

But he appeared sad at the same moment.

I moved toward him, a question in my eyes.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

His eyes flickered down briefly.

Before meeting mine again.

"It's nothing. Really." I frown.

I know that it isn't nothing.

If it was nothing, then it wouldn't be affecting him so outwardly.

I sigh.

I slowly place my hands onto his cheeks.

I watch as he moves his head to place his lips to the palm of one of my hands.

The action makes me smile.

But I withdraw my hands.

I look at him, worry etched into my face.

"Kaname? Please...I don't want you to keep anything from me."

I look away.

"I'll love you, no matter what it is." I murmur.

I hear him exhale and the tension that had been there ever since he returned, suddenly felt overwhelming.

"Please..." I hear him whisper. "Please don't make me...make me tell you..."

I tear my eyes away from the spot of the floor that I had been studying and look at his face.

He looked devastated.

His perfect features were scrunched.

And his eyes looked darker than usual.

He looked away and placed a hand onto his face.

"Kaname. I promise, I won't be angr-"

"Don't. Don't Yuki...You can't...you can't promise that..."

I feel my eyes widen in shock.

He had sounded so...

So...scared.

And wounded.

"You can't promise me that. You just...you just _can't." _I hear his voice break.

"Kana-"

"Yuki. I'm sorry...I'm so...so...sorry..."

I watch, in complete shock, as he sinks to his knees in front of me.

"What? What did you...? Why are you saying this Kaname?"

I see his body shake.

Is he crying?

But there are no sobs...

Nothing.

He's silent.

But I can feel his inner turmoil.

His _pain._

And I can't do anything.

"Please...forgive me Yuki..."

I stare, not knowing what to say.

"Yuki...Yuki I'm..."

"Kaname?"

I hear him take in a shuddering breath.

"_I'm a_ _monster!"_


	18. Chapter 18

What is this?

Really...I don't know.

But my heart is breaking somewhere.

He's in so much pain.

Always has been...

And I haven't noticed.

I feel my legs give way.

I'm kneeling with him.

And I'm holding him.

Holding him as he shakes with a pain I can't...

Can't even attempt to understand.

"Kaname..."

I murmur his name softly.

He stills slightly.

"Please tell me...Help me understand."

I hear him take a breath.

I want to know what it is.

"You...won't want me to...touch you anymore..."

I shake my head.

"I will...I promise..."

He sighs and chuckles shakily.

"I...These hands are so...stained Yuki..."

He covers his face with his hands.

"I've destroyed so many things..."

I look at him and wonder how long he's been suffering.

I wouldn't know.

"I...used Zero..."

I almost flinch at the name.

"I used him just like an object..."

I listen as his voice drops to a whisper.

"But it was to protect _you _Yuki..."

I nod and tell him I know.

I know...

He only wants to protect me...

Only wants to protect...

Oh _Zero_...

I tighten my grip around Kaname.

I feel as though I'm holding him together.

Keeping him from falling apart under all his pain.

What would Zero say if he saw us now?

Perhaps he would frown.

I stroke Kaname's hair and stand up, resolute.

He stands up with me.

And as I look at him, his whole being seems to resonate with some unbearable suffering.

I have to help him.

_Save him._

Like I did with...

With...

_Zero._

"Kaname, don't block me out anymore."

I tell him this, and he smiles sadly at me, closing himself off again.

"I won't."

He reaches for my face and caresses my cheek slowly.

"You're so beautiful Yuki."

I wonder why.

He turns to go further into the house and I reach out to him.

I take his hand.

I feel him almost withdraw with surprise.

"I love you Kaname."

He turns to look at me, his eyes are spilling happiness.

"And I love you, Yuki."

And he leans down and kisses me.

_A/N I know it's been a long time._

_This chapter is short and I'm a little useless. I read through my old stories and realised I liked this one, even though my writing style wasn't so good back then._

_Ah well, I'm continuing. ^^_


	19. Chapter 19

There was so much loneliness here.

And yet I could also find happiness.

I enjoyed being alone.

Though I longed for Kaname.

And Zero.

Though that was something I would not acknowledge.

The days seemed endless.

And the nights were longer.

I had lessons.

They occupied my mind.

I found that I was happily distracted.

Though the dark thoughts...

The _vampire _thoughts...

Were always there.

They had not disappeared.

Like I once thought they had.

I realised I was always craving...

_Hungering _for him.

I never found out who it was I was truly hungering for.

When I wasn't studying, or being taught...

I was with Kaname.

Somehow, I was always happy with him.

And yet, I still felt empty.

Incomplete.

_Hungering._

He told me he would settle for having half my heart.

As long as he still got to hold me.

"After all..."

He had said...

"A Yuki without a heart full of love and compassion...wouldn't be the real you anyway..."

The kisses were still warm.

The blood was warmer.

And all my fear was gone in an instant.

Though I still hungered.

Still _longed _for Zero.

Nothing could fill that hole but him.

There was nothing but blind persistence within me.

A need to keep him living.

I realised that as long as I lived, he would have a reason to go on.

I had always known that.

But now, I would make sure.

I needed blood.

That was a part of me.

Though I tried to suppress it.

In the only way I could.

The method.

I wanted so much to stay, in some part of me, the Yuki that Zero loved.

The human.

I would not use my fangs.

Kaname would scold me.

But I would never give in.

I _couldn't._

The months passed.

As did the seasons.

And my mind changed with them.

My knowledge grew.

And my heart grew with it.

Though I could not help but feel small and useless.

I knew that Kaname's knowledge would be far vaster.

The knowledge of all others.

I wanted to be of use.

To Kaname.

And to everyone.

I wanted to change things.

I was told a year had passed since I had left.

A _year._

I had frowned and asked if it really had been that long.

I felt...shocked.

A year had passed.

And I had not done anything.

_Anything._

I was frustrated.

Though I would not show it.

There was no use in showing my frustration.

It was just another thing I decided to lock away.

Kaname came to visit me more.

Every time he kissed me, I burned inside.

I tried to hide it.

Though I know he noticed it.

He looked me in the eyes one day.

And he asked me...

"Yuki...What is it that you wish?"

I had looked down.

Confusion swirling through me.

And then, as I looked back at him.

At his eyes.

His lonely...beautiful eyes...

I had known.

I wanted to be with him, and him alone, forever.

"It is a cruel, and selfish wish...That should not be granted."

He had smiled at me then, and kissed my forehead.

"Any wish that you desire, I shall always strive to grant, my lovely Yuki."

I stepped back.

"Kaname...I want to stay with you...forever...though...it could never be fair to you..."

I had not looked at him.

I didn't want to see that tender, loving gaze.

That beautiful person that I could never deserve.

"I...am always going to be divided."

"I know."

My head snapped up.

He was smiling.

A sad, mourning smile.

"I know, Yuki.

I have always known."

He reached out to me, his smooth hand caressing my cheek.

"Though I do not wish for you to suffer forever, I would be lying if I were to say I am not glad you chose me."

I jerked away from him.

"Kaname...I could never deserve you! I'm selfish, and you are unconditionally selfless! Everything there is about me...that is cruel and horrid, is gentle and forgiving in you."

I turned away.

"I cannot allow you to suffer alongside me."

I had tried to run from him.

My legs had carried me away.

Though, just as I had expected, his arms surrounded me a moment later.

"Yuki..."

I heard him murmur my name.

And just like that, my sadness was almost gone.

"Don't pull away from me..."

Guilt washed over me.

But I struggled against him anyway.

My unbearable hunger had come back to me.

"Kaname! Let _go _of me! Please..."

I pulled, but his grip was like iron.

"I can't do that Yuki..."

I stopped.

His eyes spilled pain and sadness.

"Yuki...I can't possibly let go of you..."

My heart had stopped.

My pain was gone.

And I felt calm, although I could not forget the current situation.

"I would never let go of you. I would choose death over that...Yuki, _please, _how can you not see that you are...

_Everything." _


	20. Chapter 20

His words.

His eyes.

Everything was so beautiful.

But I couldn't forget this hunger within me.

It hurt, but I had to focus on Kaname.

He looked at me, sadness, hope and that dark despair that I longed to get rid of, all swirled in his eyes.

I knew that where I belonged was with him.

It had always been with him.

I knew that.

And it settled me.

I felt my hopelessness dissipate, leaving behind happiness.

And that burning pain.

Kaname bent down so that he was on my level.

"Yuki...It's alright..."

I felt the ache in my jaw, knew that I had to use my fangs.

The fangs that I had been trying so hard to get rid of.

"Yuki...you can have every part of me, forever...You have to know that..."

I smiled slightly at his words, but my eyes were focused on his neck.

His beautiful, pale, perfect neck.

He tilted his head to the side, extending his neck before me.

Of course he already knew what I wanted.

I sighed and nuzzled my face against his neck.

I breathed him in.

I breathed in that smell that was perfectly Kaname.

So many things.

It smelt of so, so many things.

But oddly, I would've thought that this is what sunshine smells like.

I opened my mouth and felt my fangs slide into his neck.

My mind was clouded, but I still felt his arms surround me.

I heard his words.

Heard him say my name.

He murmured it so softly it sounded like a sigh.

But I knew it was my name.

He said it with so much conviction, so much hope and despair locked together, it made my heart melt.

Made my eyes water.

Made my soul long for him.

I knew then, in that instant, that he was all I could ever need.

A piece of me that had been shattered returned to me.

My mind pieced back together, and I felt safe.

Complete.

Eternally happy.

_A/N That's it. To be honest, I hate this story. This writing style is my old writing style. I've moved on from that now, I just didn't want to leave the story hanging for all the people who were reading it._

_Thank you so much to everyone who favourited and reviewed. It means so, so much to me. _

_One last thing, I don't own Vampire Knight. ;)_


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